Facebook Creepin’

I remember when Facebook first came on the scene. It was my freshman year of college; 2005. It was the best thing since sliced bread. What a wonderful virtual place, where you can make friends, catch up with old friends, post pics, AND create the oh so infamous ” Facebook status.” Your status was very important, mind you. People thought long and hard about these statuses. They wanted to sound as cool and as intelligent as humanly possible. It was great. Facebook was the place to be. Then, all of a sudden, we realized that we could SPY on each other. That’s right. We had access to people in a way that we had never had before. Wanna know what the hot guy in your Algebra class is doing Friday night? Friend him on Facebook, check his status, and there it is, “Hanging with the bros tonight at Tiki Cantina.” There was nothing that you couldn’t find out. But like all good things, the fun and excitement associated with “The Book” soon came to an end. What was fun had now become kind of scary, with the evolution of the “Facebook Creep.” What is a Facebook Creep, you ask? Well, the Facebook creeper comes in all shapes and sizes, colors, etc. Some of them appear to be normal, with normal lives. Some of them are initially creepy by default. For example, why isn’t your profile picture your FACE on “FACEbook”? Get your life together. If your profile pic is your eye, your mouth, your FOOT, we have a problem. The Facebook creeper has many tactics. They will constantly instant message you every time that they see you log on. It’s like they have an alert built into their PC just for you. They will send messages like “What’s up?” and “Can I get to know you?” all day, every day. THEN, they will comment on all of your statuses. Your status may be “I’m on the toilet, sh*tting my life away,” and the Facebook Creeper will comment by saying, “LOL. That’s funny!” Then, just in case you didn’t notice them, they will “POKE” you every chance they get. I’ve been poked so many times that I look like Spongebob.

facebookAnd last but not least, the Facebook Creeper will sit and thumb through all 967 of your photos, in which case, they will “LIKE” 623 of them. The creeping never ends. I’m saying all of this to say that Facebook is really becoming a pain in my A-S-S and I am 98.9% over it. How do you “like” that Facebook Creeper? Get a life, and not a virtual one!

-Carma Sutra

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